that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
