i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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