my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're so committed to being not committed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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