Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
