wrigley field is MILF paradise
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
