I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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