in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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