and my herpes radar will keep us safe
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
