shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
