She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize