There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
