she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
