I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
