Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize