Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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