i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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