Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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