do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He better not be in your backpack
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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