is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
