Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
id be glad to
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
