Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
