Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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