Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
