did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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