all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
