it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am available for nakedness
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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