No awkward lesbian experiences without me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
