I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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