I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I smell stomach acid.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
