Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
