Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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