ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
where am i from again
I wish you could order shots online.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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