Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
