JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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