what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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