it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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