Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize