I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
