i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
