I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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