Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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