An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Are my feet made of real feet?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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