Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
