Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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