marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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