I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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