I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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