The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.