the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
