my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
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I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
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My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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