if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
