But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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