Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
