Can Purell be used as lube?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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