Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
