All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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