I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
