uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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