That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
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Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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