sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
