We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
