I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
