Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
