Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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