life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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